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Episode 1 [The Secret Passage]

from Zelda 3: The Light World [LP] by The Amazing Brando

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Artwork by Alex Patton!
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lyrics

I hear your cries for help, to me and noone else.
What can I do? I’m just an elf. (I’m just an elf with a really large penis)
Who’s that and where’s he goin’ to? (Go to bed!) I don’t like his freakin’ attitude.
What the hell am I supposed to do? (Don‘t make me slap you with my really large penis)
I found a lamp. (That’s right, I found it) I’ll do a dance. (I’m so grounded) I’ll take a chance and I’ll go.
Where are my pants? (I can’t find them) Where are my pants? (I can’t find them)
Where are my pants? I don’t know!
Now I’m walking out in the rain like I’m Oran “Juice” Jones.
She keeps talking, am I insane? She won’t leave me alone.
I rip plants from the ground and then I’m killin’ ya, son, I got 99 problems and a bush ain’t one. (Hit me)
Man on the run, havin’ too much fun, I got 3 hearts, you’ll be left with less than one.
I got a sword now, watch me build it up, release. This is a secret technique from my family tree.
I got the strength of a bear that’s got the strength of a Sheen,
I’m lean and I’m mean. I’m a fff- killin’ machine.

credits

from Zelda 3: The Light World [LP], released July 15, 2012
Arranged, recorded, and produced by The Amazing BrandO. Instrumentation and Lyrics by The Amazing BrandO.
Additional vocals by Danielle Curavo.
Zelda 3: A Link To The Past OST composed by Koji Kondo.

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The Amazing Brando Flint, Michigan

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